Put Me In Coach...

Well I've decided to take the plunge yet again and venture back into online dating, this time on match.com. So far so good, but then again it's day one. However, I have a bone to pick...why is it that men have no qualms contacting a woman that is young enough to be their daughter?! My age range is clearly displayed. Do they think that's just a friendly suggestion, guidelines to be ignored? WTF?! Unfortunately I have no means of retaliation as most men would be thrilled to have a young thing swooning over them. Awww the perils of finding love. I'll keep you posted as this plays out.

Latitude & Longitude...

I've experienced a strange geographical phenomena as of late. While sleeping soundly each night, I have been transported from my little chunk of paradise in California 1400 miles back to my previous home. Perhaps this means I'm finally starting to feel at home in a place that was never meant to be my home. Or perhaps I'm sleep deprived and overworked...my money is on the latter.

Saturday Night's Alright...

Home alone in Desolation, California for my umpteenth Saturday. Not always a good scenario...mind starts to wander. Currently mulling over the pros and cons of initiating an affair with one of my married and much older coworkers. My my I need to get out of the house more...though I probably shouldn't pick up extra hours at work :)

Online Dating 101...

As promised I've returned ready to share and feeling ultra chic (thank you Riesling). You will soon learn I analyze everything...unfortunately as far as relationships are concerned, I analyze far too late. But all that aside I thought I'd share the highlights of the past six months which I spent exploring the realm of online dating. Here's the recap:

June/July: Stumble across a site, singlesnet.com, while I should be studying for an incredibly important career changing test. Meet a nice enough guy in Nor Cal and start chatting (Mapquest his location and discover he is three hours from my new home). But I wasn't about to let a few miles deter me. Arrive in California only to find internet mystery man has reconciled with ex-girlfried, in fact they were now "on fire".

August: Settling into my new home and finding it terribly drab, I revisit singlesnet.com. I meet two prospective gentlemen. Meet the first at a classy joint called the "Rusty Nail". He was nice enough and boosted my confidence in the whole online dating scene...basically he wasn't crazy. Suitor # 2 was a small distance south and we made plans to meet for a weekend...which he later cancels last minute because as he so honestly informs me, he's been seeing someone else and doesn't want me to have to play "second fiddle". How thoughtful.

September: Following the suggestion of my oh so helpful older brother, I again attempt to make "friends" online using okcupid.com. Again meet two prospective beaus, one near and one far. Streamlining the process I opt to meet the closer of the two, a man I now call "Skeleton Man" or simply "Creep" when describing him to girlfriends back home. He was a firefighter and not about to let anyone forget that. First date, he shows up in uniform...red flag! While I wasn't entirely impressed after date one I thought I should give him a chance and work outside the box for a bit. Date two was to be a weekend of camping or lounging, whatever we decided. Upon arriving at his house I received a gift...wine (1 point for Creep), lotion in flavors I wouldn't even give as white elephant gifts (no point awarded or deducted) and finally a dozen or so pairs of underwear ranging from skanky to scary in various sizes. "You can wear these when we're out camping and curled up in the tent" WTF, game over! When I explain to blockhead that I don't want to see him anymore he has the balls to say "I hope you know I won't wait around for you" followed by "We could be friends with benefits".

October: Actually meet and enjoy a fella' from Oregon that I shall christen Houdini. He up and disappears mid November...still a sore subject.

November: Everything happens for a reason...or does it? August's southern suitor returns to the scene as he and the broad mentioned above are no more. Turns out she was married when they started dating but had a nine month old son from an unknown contributor and well, things just weren't working out. As we're catching up he suggests we meet over Thanksgiving. As quickly as he offered he recanted, the following day. Awwww yes...

December: Finally meet Suitor # 2 after two failed attempts. Not what I was hoping for but again willing to gamble.

January: Spend New Years with new acquaintance Suitor # 2 and accompany him to appointment for hair transplants the following day...Spend majority of day wondering what the hell I was thinking. Ultimately decide we're not quite compatible, but his new full mane...top notch.

So there you have it. My past six months in a nutshell, you will no longer be able to shake your head as I open a second bottle of wine but will instead say "Let me pour that for you". Cheers!

She's so California...

I'm new to the world of blogging and had every intention of starting this when I first moved to California 6 months ago. How I ended up in California is still a mystery to me. More to follow...