Dooset daraam...

Well isn't life just a bit too unpredictable?! So my exotic internet flame came down for a visit this weekend. One month ago he was not on the agenda, he wasn't even on my radar. And now suddenly I'm bordering on smitten with a man that sometimes whispers to me in Persian, speaks wildly with his hands and that answers to a name half of my friends can't say. While there were no neti pot demonstrations, it was a very lovely weekend indeed. Never did I think I would be one to participate in very open public displays of affection but there I was on the corner of Broadway and 3rd lip-locked with a man I had technically "just met". And this morning when I left for work and found a note from him under my wipers I could have melted into the sappy romantic pile I generally run screaming from. I'm a fish out of water.

Prior to his arrival I had what I'm considering my epiphany for this year. I sabotage my relationships. Ever since Fuck wit I've chosen to fall madly "in love" with men that I know deep down aren't really right for me. But I make them out to be perfect and trust them right from the beginning...examples - Jason (who has not been mentioned but was basically the Jolly Green Giant from hell for those that don't know), Houdini, and most recently McSteamy. I think this has been my way of avoiding what I went through with Fuck wit and coming to a point where it's no longer about me but about an us. I haven't wanted to give up any control over my life and therefor have fallen for men with an underlying escape route. They leave and I can complain to the world because I did everything right, I opened up, I gave them space...blah blah blah. Then I meet a nice guy and spend countless hours looking for his flaws. Which is what I did with my Persian Prince up until this weekend. So I've decided to get the hell out of my own way and stop looking for a reason not to trust this one. On paper it seems crazy, but when I'm with him I'm comfortable. I'm at home. I don't have the feelings of "Oooh he should be the one because well I really like him". There's no molding or hoping...he just is.

So enough gooshiness. I would now like to acknowledge my first official follower, Kara. That means the rest of you slackers should put an end to your anonymous viewing and get a fucking account already :) I love you though just the same. Thank you Kara and I enjoy your blog a great deal. You're a little ray of sunshine in my blogging world. Ooops guess I'm back to gooshiness.